Business and Parenting and all those Dynamics

Do you believe that to run a business smoothly you need to be a "Good Parent" ?

From my reading, observation and personal experiences working with or in a small business requires not only the usual business savvy, drive and desire to succeed but the desire to be a 'Good Parent', setting the appropriate expectations, limits and boundaries that translate to employees who know what's expected of them and work within the guidelines that are established.

Easier said than done though because like every family, there are the many dysfunctions that make it work or not work.  Some would say that even with the dysfunctions the 'family' still functions and that is true and fine for the family but when you are running a business you cannot expect to have a thriving professional environment if you allow a family attitude develop that only transfers your family dysfunctions over into your business. 

I have worked the majority of my career in businesses with 25 or less employees and for the most part they were run pretty successfully but the ones that seemed to have the most problems were run by people who brought the family dysfunctions that they may have grown up with or created in their own homes to the office place.  As you know, the behavioral patterns that we develop [good or not so good] are a result of our experiences, reactions and desires to please or survive the situations we encounter.  It would seem to make sense that if we lived in a family that used boundaries, limits and expectations as a way of managing the home and kids that these people would bring this method of seeing and organizing their world to their business?

If a man was a passive husband, passive father and didn't really step up and be an active part of the 'team' raising the family, wouldn't it follow that he might run a business in a more passive way?  If a woman had to be a single mother 100% responsible for her family and home, in order to survive and stay in front of the curve she would have to develop a set up skills that would allow her to keep everything moving forward.  She would have to be organized, solution-oriented, clear in setting expectations ... the list goes on.  Doesn't it seem to follow that she would run a business in a similar manner.  Then there's the couple who work as a team, sharing the responsibilities of the home and raising a family - creating a united front when faced with challenges and the decision making that goes on day to day.  I believe these people would run their business in the same manner, supporting teamwork and respect and combined decision making.  It doesn't make sense that their default would be otherwise.  But there are all kinds of ways people run their business which is something I find very interesting to study.

What do you think?  Anyone reading this who would be willing to sit down and be interviewed for an article I want to write please contact me.  I think now more than ever self-employment which is another word for "small business" is on the rise and I want to support every one's effort through information and education which is why I want to write more about the experience.

So ask yourself, how am I being a good parent to my business and those who work for me?  Tell me what you come up with.

What's new?

Another week is almost done and what's been accomplished?  For me, besides celebrating a birthday I've learned so much about what gets me going each day and how my business ideas are developing.  That is the value of talking with others about your ideas.  When you have to sit with several people in a week and describe what you do and what your ideal client is, you really hear your own personal excitement (or not) ebb and flow throughout the conversation.

In order to get out and market yourself, you need to really understand what you can enthusiastically sell.  If it's a product, you better be really excited about it and what it can do because if you aren't who will buy it?  The same with the services you want to provide.  If you cannot articulate what value-add you bring to the table by someone hiring you then the same thing will be true ...who will want your service?

Sometimes in the development of our business, we aren't really sure.  You start out in one direction and then as you test the waters you find that the need you were planning on filling really isn't out there...or now that you're in there providing the service you're finding that it's not that exciting and self-employment isn't very glamorous.  This is part of the process ... it's almost like a new relationship.  In the beginning things are great!  It's new exciting and one never knows what's around the corner.  New business the same.  It's a new routine, a sense of freedom that you hadn't experienced before...it's exciting and the unknown gives you a thrill...but as the days go on and things become more familiar and more routine you begin thinking; "Do I really want this involvement?"  "Did I do the right thing here by starting my own business?"

When these thoughts set in it's time to get out there and meet people.  Remember, networking is key to building relationships than can help you build your business.  Networking doesn't usually occur in the comfort of your home office.  People just don't walk up to your door and say, "Hi, I hear you have a quality service to offer?  I'd like to come in and hear about it."   Sure would be nice if they did, especially for those of you who disdain cold-calling.  But getting out in the field, changing the scenery and meeting people helps you get refreshed and re-energized.  Being open to hearing what their stories are out there and what people are looking for is critical to knowing the market & your customer.   Remember, when you are networking you are always working to establish relationships - practice being good at it.  Practice being able to listen and reflect back what you've heard them tell you are their concerns and their needs.  That's the key - hearing and reading between the lines.  If you don't work to develop this skill...how will your potential customer know you  understand their needs?

Believe me, if you take a chance and do some extemporaneous walk in and introduce yourself calls...I guarantee you that you'll find yourself getting excited all over again, just like you were in that new relationship and when you decided to build your own business.  It happens to me every time and I am always glad I did it.

So that's my week - what's yours been like?  Learning more about who we are, what excites us and what we're all about is the hard work, but in doing this you are that much closer to defining your business and understanding how you will be growing and shaping it in the weeks to come. 

How's your week been?

One thing I always do at the end of the week is make sure I review how it's been, identify what I did towards my goal of building my business and also make sure I continue to encourage myself to continue moving forward.  Being my own cheerleader is a challenge but what can us self-employed people do?  If we can't cheer ourselves on who will?

I look for little victories...not those big successes; why?  Because in my business, that is mostly what I am accomplishing.  Acquiring small accounts that will add up to a bigger number which will amount to being able to take care of my expenses, put some in savings and provide me with the ability to enjoy my life in different ways.  A trip to NYC to attend The New Yorker Festival would be a great reward for my hard work.  But all of you need to be reminded to look back and see what you did that worked and identify what you did that needs tweaking.  It's critical to building momentum and not using the same tactics that really aren't getting you where you want to go.

If any of you out there have seen the movie "What the Bleep do we know?" you will remember how they talked about the pathways we create in our brain through repeated behaviors.  This ties into how we get so addicted to behaviors...they give us something that we think we need.  But to change those neural pathways we really have to work hard.  Wow!  I don't know about you but I'm already tired from working hard doing what I do...now I have to work on something else?  YES!

Continuing to repeat patterns that don't work is just plain insanity...why?  Because you already know the outcome and that outcome didn't pay off.  However, if you find you are repeating these patterns then you need to ask yourself why?  It's another part of the review, evaluate and reward process.  To reach your goals you must be willing to be critical of your behaviors and patterns so you can learn, regroup and continue evolving as an individual and a business person.  More work???  Of course but that's what it takes to build a successful business and if you are balking at the idea that you need to evaluate if you are meant for this kind of work?

This morning I read an interesting article  The Effort is the Prize and this research suggests that there are two mindsets; "a fixed mindset, which occurs when someone believes that personal qualities like intelligence are immutable, and a growth mindset, which occurs when someone believes that skills and characteristics can be cultivated through effort."    I know I'm the latter because academics were a challenge for me when I was young and so I never believed that I had the ability to excel in that way...however, I knew and believed that if I worked hard and researched information in my own way...I could become accomplished in that which was important to me.  Maybe in my case the key is "important".

Mindset, attitude and the importance of the thing(s) we want are all key factors in how we move forward [and sometimes backwards] and I believe and will always say, that they can be used to our advantage or not.  We can change them and be flexible in them in order to make it to our respective destinies...yet, they can also become walls that keep us stuck in old patterns. This is why the ability to look at ourselves and evaluate own mindsets and attitudes is critical.

Review, evaluate and reward...try it and see how you do...and while your at it, check out the movie.  It's very interesting and should at least get you to thinking about things in a different way. 

Have a great weekend!!!!!